1,046 words

				

The Ghost of Christmas Past
By John Scioli

It was the last activity before Christmas break, a concert at a girl’s college across town. Jack was gloomy, going through the motions of pre-med. He wanted to help people but didn’t particularly like science. He would have become a dangerous M.D., popular with his patients killing them with kindness, but without the know-how. He also wanted to please his parents.
	The Glee Club sang “The Carol of the Bells”, “The Little Drummer Boy”, a Christmas medley, the usual stuff. The conductor taught the men a Gustav Holst dirge “In the Dark Mid-Winter.” That fit Jack’s mood. After the concert Jack wondered what’s the soonest I can politely leave the mixer, until a blond Celtic coed asked him to dance. Since it was slow he could fake it. 
	She leaned on his shoulder and drew him close. Jack was flustered and for sure she knew it. “Hello, my name’s Jack. What’s yours?”
	“I’m Mary: art and elementary education.”
	“That’s a challenge, Mary. I’m Biology: pre-med.”
	“I’m impressed.”
	“No more impressive than art. At least you have to have talent. There’s no talent required for a science major.”
	“I’ve got some talent, not a great one. But I also like children and think I can blend the two majors into an interesting class for first graders.”
	Jack said, “I fell in love with my first grade teacher, her gentle voice, rosy complexion and angelic face. And what a name: Sister Mary Rose.”
	“Miss Mary O’Donnell doesn’t have the panache of Mary Rose, but it’ll have to do unless I marry a guy with the last name Rose.”
	“Mary, would you like to hear the Philadelphia Orchestra Saturday evening? It’s an all Mozart program.”
	“I’d love that Jack” she said in her sweet brogue.
	“Great I’ll pick you up at six thirty.”
	“Mary said, “I can’t wait.” Her usual dates were to college sporting events or a movie, nothing which appealed to her aesthetic sensibility.

 Jack’s parents were more than glad to lend the family car. On the way downtown Jack was anxious. Mary was outgoing. “Jack, do you have any brothers or sisters?”
	 He said, “One of each, I’m in the middle.” 
	“Do you like pre-med? I hear it’s difficult”
	“I’m not crazy for biology, too much memory. I prefer chemistry; you know the building blocks of the universe. I even like particle physics. I would have liked to have majored in music but my parents refused to pay for something so frivolous.”
	“Frivolous, Jack, now I’m glad my dad buries the dead. He never went to a four year college and is happy for anything me and my brother begin, as long as we complete it.”
	“My parents are first generation immigrants. They have practical values. They have their minds set on doctor, lawyer, or college professor. It’s a sore point with us, but I’m in no position to argue or rebel.”
	“I understand.”
Mary lived near town. Jack was growing buoyant, like how can you improve on Mozart and a pretty girl with shapely legs and figure who reaches for your hand.
	At the end of the program she stood up and called out, “Encore, Encore.” She even whistled. She did the thumb pinky whistle. She’ll be a great first grade school teacher. Her students will love her. 
	Jack drove back to her father’s funeral parlor.  On the high front steps she said, “I have to go in” and waited for some movement from Jack. He was slow on the uptake but even he knew they should kiss. She got closer. All Jack had to do was extend himself just a few inches. What he intended was a flaccid touching of the lips. When they connected she stuck her tongue out of her moist lips. It was Jack’s first real kiss, as a junior in college. He shivered with delight. Terrified and embarrassed at the immediate effect she had on him, Jack said, “I have to get my parent’s car home. I’ll call you later this week”
	Mary said, “Ok” and squeezed his hand. Jack was off home where everyone would be asleep. For all they cared he could have been out all night. 

He hesitated to make phone contact. Once he called and no one answered. He was relieved. After two semesters of med-school he failed anatomy and physiology. He was asked to leave. His first thought was how to break the news to his parents. They took it in stride; neither of them had finished high school. The guilt of letting the clan down set in and he carried this three hundred pound man on his shoulders. On occasion he imagined he was free. He allowed himself to think maybe I’ll get married, go to law school, and do something not so rigorous. I should call Mary. Finally on the phone he said, “Hello, Mary, this is Jack. I’m no longer in medical school. I’m working as a science teacher. I was wondering if we could go out sometime, another concert maybe?”
	“How nice to hear from you! I’d love to but I’m an old married lady with a newborn.”
	“Are you also a first grade school teacher?”
	“That too, and if it weren’t for my mom, I couldn’t hold my little family together. Dave my husband is so understanding. We’re saving for a home. For the time being we live with my parents.” At the thought of wedded bliss and a child jack winced in jealousy and regret.
	Jack said,” I’m happy for you. I won’t keep you any longer. I hear the baby crying for his mother. Keep well.”
	Mary said, “We’d really like to show off our baby. When the dust has settled from all the changes in your life we have to get together.”
	“Thanks, I’d like that Mary. Well see ya.”
	“See ya Jack.” 
Jack put the receiver down and just stared into space. He wondered how long it would take to heal from this loss, how long the ghost of her would cling like a damp slick on the forehead during a humid mid-summers heat wave. He had nothing to match the idyllic life he imagined Mary was leading. He despaired of even conjuring the thrill of his first and last kiss.